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The Wife Drought, by Annabel Crabb
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For decades, feminism has argued the case for getting women into the workplace. Affirmative action, support schemes, paid maternity leave... all valuable devices, and yet still we agonize over why women aren't better represented in the boardrooms and ministries of this country. But the answer is so shriekingly obvious, and yet hardly anybody ever acknowledges it. It's because for women, the opportunity to work at those elite levels usually means opting out of having a family. Either that, or working like a lunatic whilst being plagued by personal guilt on one hand and the covert critique of other mothers on the other. The greatest asset male executives, politicians, and sportspeople have enjoyed throughout centuries of success is one that never appears on balance sheets or tax returns. And yet this asset keeps their lives turning over more efficiently than an accommodating accountant or the most obliging of personal assistants. And it is: The Wife. "Why can't I have a wife?" It's a common joke among busy women. But it's not a joke. Male politicians who reach their 40s without having children are so rare as to be remarkable, but politics is full of women who are childless. Why? Because if you want to combine kids with an elite career, the first thing you need (if you're going to have the best possible shot at it) is a stay-at-home spouse. And it's awfully hard to interest a bloke in a gig like that. This book is not a shout of rage, but it is asking us to sit up and listen. Sometimes as women we spend too much time thinking about flexibility from only one perspective--ours. But what about the men? Shouldn't the fight for workplace flexibility extend to men as well? And then perhaps it wouldn't be seen as such an anomaly to see a man in a part-time role so he can spend more time with the kids? Cliche but true: kids need their fathers, too. This book is full of stories from the author's work in and around politics and media, and involves anecdotes about high-profile women--and men. It will look at some research about flexibility in the workplace; it will look at statistics about childlessness and correlation to financial success for women and men. It will include some embarrassing disclosures about things Annabel Crabb has done to make life work in a busy career with three children. It will look at what happens to men who pitch in and take responsibility for their children. It will seek out some blokes who have made the decision to do more at home, and it will love them up pretty concertedly. It will contain some advice about how to build your own artificial wife, using trained partners, child care, friends, and family. This is a shout-out to men and women everywhere to take control.
- Sales Rank: #777978 in Books
- Brand: Random House Australia
- Published on: 2015-12-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 7.70" h x .90" w x 5.10" l, .0 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 304 pages
About the Author
Annabel Crabb is one of Australia's most popular political commentators, and the ABC's chief online political writer. Annabel has worked extensively in newspapers, radio, and television as a political commentator and has established a regular live "Twittercast" of parliamentary question time.
Most helpful customer reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
‘A ‘wife’ can be male or female.'
By Jennifer Cameron-Smith
'Whether they’re men or women, though, the main thing wives are is a cracking professional asset.’
Many women who juggle work and family responsibilities would like to have a wife. Someone to take care of the domestic stuff, including cooking, cleaning, childcare and ironing. In some households these responsibilities are shared, but why – in the second decade of the 21st century – is this still an issue? After all, equality (of opportunity and pay) has been around for forty years or more, or has it?
‘Who gets wives? Dads do. Most mums have to make do with alternative arrangements.’
This entertaining and thought-provoking work is about men and women, family and work. About the barriers that exist for men as well as for women in trying to balance work and family. About the differences in approach to work which, for me, a comment by George Megalogenis (included in the book) summarises neatly: ‘Women have trouble asking for pay rises, and men have trouble asking for time off’. That’s surely part of it, but my own observation is that men are not always able to get the same flexible working arrangements available to women in the same workplaces. How many of these barriers are cultural, as distinct from legal? While Ms Crabbe is writing about Australia, many of the issues will apply similarly in other developed economies.
‘Well having a wife is an economic privilege. A privilege far more men enjoy than women. But it’s a state of affairs so broadly accepted as to be barely mentioned.’
Some of us who read this book have managed to survive the experience of combining full-time work and parenting. Some of us have been fortunate enough to have partners who shared the responsibilities, joys and difficulties and were able to agree on ‘spheres of influence’ thereby ensuring that we each knew who was cooking, ironing, paying bills, mowing the lawn and servicing the cars. And times have changed in the 30+ years since my child was a baby: bills can now be paid online, which provides some of us with more flexibility.
‘A mother who works is a ‘working mother’. A father who works is just a normal guy.’
There are reminders, too, of the impact of marriage on women in the Australian Public Service. Until 1966, women had to resign from the Australian Public Service on the eve of their marriage. (It’s worth noting that this provision was not universally supported when it was introduced in 1922: Ms Crabb includes some of the debate in this book.)
‘Is it not in the public interest that a female officer on her marriage should retire from the Service?’ [1922, Federal Parliament]
This isn’t a book about women versus men. It’s about the barriers couples face as family units (usually men and women), sharing responsibility for domestic issues including parenting, and participation in the world (usually in the form of paid work) outside domestic responsibilities. It’s a discussion about how we value both. It’s not a detached discussion: while there are references to case studies and statistics, Ms Crabb also includes her own experiences as a working parent.
I’d recommend this book to anyone (male or female) interested in the barriers and challenges of combining parenting and working.
‘Perhaps in our ferociously joined-up new world, in which unthinkable volumes of information and intelligence are available from anywhere at a keystroke, we will finally realise that the worlds of home and work can’t make sense until you look at them side by side. That a drought in one place created a drought in the other. And that rain is good for everyone.’
My thanks to Netgalley and Random House Australia for an opportunity to read an advance copy of this book.
Jennifer Cameron-Smith
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Cracking read
By Frances Cameron
Loved every paragraph, sentence and word of it and of course it hit a nerve. Everyone should read this book and especially if you are my boss. We can't change until we acknowledge what holds us back.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Modern feminist social commentary.
By Jacqui M
In "The Wife Drought" Annabel Crabb focuses on the ideas that anybody who has somebody to look after their home life has a clear career advantage, and the social (and personal) norms and expectations that prevent men from being and pressure women to be the homemaker. She covers some important concepts illustrated with some interesting examples. It is a really important topic in modern western society and Crabb has a very easy to read, charismatic writing style, but overall I found it a bit long for what it was presenting. I should say that isn't really unusual for this style of book - most of the key concepts in the first chapter, then expanding points with different examples in subsequent chapters. A few people in my bookclub really loved all the extra examples that Crabb draws from her extensive experience as a successful political journalist, writer, presenter and mother, but I find that format a bit repetetive. The emphasis is heavily on childcare which matches Crabb's own (and many others') experiences, but I really would have liked a bit more discussion outside of that sphere and what people are doing to try and bring about social change that might address the wife drought.
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